"pitting" out

I have a problem...I mean, I have lots of problems, but one problem in particular is the fact that I can't seem to stop sweating...no matter what I do...no matter how strong of anti-perspirant I wear (currently Mitchum extra strength mountain fresh) I have rings around my armpits starting no later than 5 minutes after putting on a shirt...this has been a sore spot for my ego all the way back to my LDS mission when I would sweat through my suits and everyone would notice unsightly stains on my suits and white shirts...then, when I started going out to nightclubs in Salt Lake City and Las Vegas I would purchase and bring two exact same shirts, so i could change half way through the evening when the "pitting" out got to be too much...in New York City, it didn't seem to bother me as I completely let myself go and really could care less how I looked...I had also resigned to wearing mostly black since the stains didn't show as much...WELL...my new job, at a very nice restaurant in St. George, requires the staff to wear "earth tone" button down shirts...SO I went to Khol's purchased what I guess you would call Burgundy and wore them to work...sure enough, HUGE pit stains emerged just shortly after arriving to work...embarrassing and humiliating...there is a strict policy that NO pastel colors are to be worn BUT one day I was wearing a yellow pastel button down and I noticed that you could NOT tell I was sweating because of the color of the shirt...SO, I have started wearing the yellow, what I will call "desert earth yellow" in order to get it to pass inspection at work...in my quarterly review, I confessed to my manager that I hate the fact that I can't stop sweating and that's the reason why I have purchased 5 "desert earth yellow" shirts from Khol's for $9.69 (regularly $48.00)...she seemed empathetic and hasn't pressed me on the issue...all of the other employees have mentioned something about the BRIGHT yellow and I calmly tell them, "I'm sorry, I 'pit out' and this is the only way that it doesn't look gross." I have recently fallen in love with plaid shirts...my Uncle Monty bought me 4 plaid shirts from various yard sales for roughly 25 cents each and they are wonderful!...because of the design and colors, you really can NOT tell if i am "pitting out" or not-SO my shirt of choice has gone from black to colorful button down plaid...I LOVE MY NEW FASHION)...I even love wearing plaid shirts and different type plaid/other pattern shorts...I guess this is a fashion "no,no" but i have NEVER been one to have any real fashion sense anyway...I'm just glad you can't see me "pit out."

the very best (and worst)

The conventions are over!...Barack Obama did okay (I give him a solid B)...Joe Biden did alright (B+)...Michelle Obama was awesome (A)...Hillary Clinton (B) did what she was required to do...Rudy Gulliani came out fighting (B+)...Cindy McCain was a robotic bore (D+)...the very best speech was, hands down, Sarah Palin (A+++) and the very worst speech was given by John McCain (D)...Sarah Palin was funny, down to earth, adorable, witty, and she sent countless jabs against Barack Obama...she did exactly what she needed to do...she never mentioned George W. Bush once, thus focusing all of our attentions on her family, Barack Obama, her leadership, and John McCain...her speech was perfect in every single detail. The most boring speech I have EVER heard in my entire life belongs to John McCain...he looked like he was in extreme pain the entire time...he looked as though it was the first time he had ever read a telepromter...is America ready to be bored to death by our next president? I doubt it...although I doubt Barack Obama slept well last night, I am sure tonight he will sleep sure and sound...IF John McCain wants to win this election, he needs to go away to Arizona for the next two months and let Sarah Palin do all the talking...since this is not going to happen, I am sure this is going to be a very tight race...